Larry: What's the difference between hot chocolate and chocolate milk?
Me: Hot chocolate is hot.
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Me: Why does this bed smell like armpits?
Larry: Because my armpits are in it!
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Larry: You're responsible for getting me hooked on red wine and Twitter. And dogs.
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Larry: If I could somehow get beer out of your boob, that would be awesome. I'd never leave the house!
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Me: (Wearing my new circle scarf.)
Larry: Who are you, Rocky Balboa?
Me: Rocky Balboa?
Larry: Yeah...with that towel around your neck...
Me: Towel?!?!
Larry: Oh...is that some sort of scarf?
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