a southern new year's eve

At our New Year's Eve party this year, our group of friends was talking about when spending New Year's Eve together became a thing that we couldn't miss. The tradition started on the last day of 2002 - a group of co-workers gathered in Bethesda to ring in the new year. I had only known these new friends for six months and was happy to have an invitation to a New Year's Eve party. And we all got to know each other a lot better that evening as about eight of us crammed into a taxi to ride from Maryland back to Virginia. I remember screams of "My kidneys! My bladder!" as we barreled down the highway, crammed in that cab like a can of sardines. (Luckily I was riding on top of the pile, so my internal organs stayed intact.) From that year on, the same group of friends gathered at various bars and restaurants to ring in the new year together. At some point about nine or ten years ago, we started tiring of the DC New Year's Eve scene. When Larry and I got charged something like $200 for a taxi ride from DC to VA one year, we decided our New Year's Eve in the District days were over. So our group started hosting dinner parties to ring in the New Year instead. We've been celebrating New Year's Eve together for 15 years and the dinner party tradition is now in its seventh straight year. Larry and I don't really have any family holiday traditions, so it's awesome to have such a strong tradition with friends. We all agreed that our annual NYE party is something that we just can't miss.

This year Larry and I hosted the party at our house. In my head, I love entertaining - choosing a menu! Fun decorations! Liquor! But in reality, I'm always in the weeds and panicking at the last minute trying to get food on the table before 10 pm. This year I was pretty proud of myself for having time to decorate ahead of time.

Ready to party!

I had this great idea to order clear balloons and fill them with confetti. The balloons arrived and, um...

Have a SAFE new year, people! 

Yuck! I quickly nixed the condoms balloons from the decor. Luckily, I had twinkle lights and streamers that didn't resemble prophylactics. Ok, the streamers might have looked a bit like TP. My original plan was to cover the entire ceiling with streamers, but I quickly got the F-its. And my helper (who boasted that he had streamer-hanging experience from setting up the gym for homecoming in 1988) put the kibosh on hanging more streamers after we got about 10 of them up. Good enough.



Now onto the food: Each year we choose a theme and everyone brings food to share that fits the theme. This year the theme was Southern food. It may have been our most delicious (and least healthy, note lack of vegetables) New Year's Eve yet. On the menu:

+ Jambalaya
+ Fried chicken
+ Biscuits
+ Pimento Cheese
+ Hush Puppies
+ Cornbread Spoonbread
+ Texas Sheet Cake
+ Key Lime Pie




There were Southern cocktails, too...

+ Apple Bourbon Delights
+ Cajun Lemonade
+ Mint Julep Jello Shots
+ Alabama Slammers


...and a wide selection of southern beer. Larry made a southern playlist, too, which consisted of lots of county music and lots of Outkast. (Which our friends kept trying to change.)

The pups may have gotten a little something from their Uncle Mike.
(Photobomb by Bud Light.)

New Year's Eve is a prime counter-surfing holiday for the pups. One year Gravy ate a 1/4 pound of New Zealand bleu cheese and another year he swallowed a shrimp skewer. At one point in the evening, we feared one of the dogs had disappeared a jello shot...

"Did someone say fried chicken?!"

"Everybody look to the left! Hmm...now what's this on the coffee table?"

When I said we hosted a dinner party, did you think that meant something elegant...and not fried chicken, Alabama Slammers, and Outkast???

But wait, there's more...

We burned stuff! Specifically, our Christmas trees from 2014 and 2015, which had achieved a nice patina and depth of flavor after aging in the corner of our backyard for the past few years. A raging bonfire was a very fitting send off for 2016.

Burn, 2016, burn!

I did not realize how much the kids would love the fire. They invented a little fire dance, and chanted "Fi-er! Fi-er!" while roasting things on sticks. We foolishly were not prepared with marshmallows, but according to the kids, roasted gummi bears and roasted tortilla chips are "Mmmmmm! Good!" (How he was able to roast a tortilla chip on stick, I'll never know, but I saw it with my own eyes, so I know it's possible!)

When the clock struck twelve, we toasted 15 years of friendship and the pending end of America with Alabama Slammers. They tasted like ass Robitussin. Sorry, friends. I guess we should all just get used to swallowing bad medicine. (Not really. Resist!)

We sound like assholes.

In all seriousness though, I'm really thankful for these guys and our not-to-be-missed annual tradition.

Mug shot.

All good parties must come to an end, though:

Too many jello shots.

After our guests had left, I popped the camera on the tripod and convinced Larry to pose for a quick pic since we hadn't gotten a photo of the two of us all night. It was about 2 am. I'm pretty sure Larry is asleep.

Stay woke, Larry! Stay woke!

So here's to friends, traditions, and 2017. I really hope you aren't terrible.

P.S. Any ideas as to what I should do with six dozen condom-colored balloons???

the summer of blackberries

If I remember the summer of 2016 for anything, it will be for the Olympics and the blackberries. I've spent the past few months avoiding society and generally hiding from the world. Perhaps it's not the most constructive way of dealing with things when life gets tough, but it's what I tend to do in overwhelming, uncomfortable, and stressful situations. So I've spent the summer as a homebody - drawing in my sketchbook, watching the Olympics on TV, and eating my weight in blackberries.

I like to go berry picking in the summer and on the last day of July, Larry and I set out in search of some nature therapy and some berries. At the time, I wanted blueberries. I knew the blueberry season was coming to an end, but we checked the websites of several farms which said there was still scattered blueberry picking available. We decided not to go to our usual berry farm and to try somewhere new, so following the directions on the website, Larry called Catoctin Mountain Orchard to verify that they were open and had blueberries available. The answers were yes and yes, so we drove 65 miles to Thurmont, Maryland. Upon our arrival, we inquired about blueberry picking and were told "Oh, we don't do u-pick on Sundays." WHAT. I was more than a little peeved. What's the point of calling ahead if you get incorrect information...anyway, it was time for Plan B. So we headed back to our favorite, reliable farm, Butler's Orchard, in Germantown. In the past, we've picked blueberries, raspberries, and strawberries at Butler's, but it had been a few years since we were last there. I was dismayed to learn that they now have a cover charge to get onto the picking fields. It really irritates me to have to spend money to get into a place where I am going to buy something. That being said, since we had paid a cover charge, I didn't feel bad about sampling a few berries straight off the vine. (Maybe this is why they have the cover charge? Are people eating the produce in the fields? Anyway, between the two of us, the cover charge was equivalent to the cost of two pounds of berries, which we certainly did not eat from the vine!) Enough complaints, though, onto the picking...

We drove up to the blueberry fields, and as we had been warned, the blueberry picking was "scattered." There were very few berries, and the berries that were left were puny. It wasn't much fun, so we headed to the blackberry fields instead, which were dripping with huge juicy berries. We picked almost 9 pounds of blackberries! I've lost interest in carrying my DSLR camera with me and photographing everything these days, so here are a few iPhone pics:







Everyone always asks me what I do with 9 pounds of berries. For a berry-addict like me, it isn't hard to use up all those berries, plus I enjoy the challenge of finding and testing new recipes. It was Iron Chef Battle Blackberry in the Smoellke Test Kitchen and I think blackberries have comprised 75% of my diet over the past few weeks. I love trying new recipes, but honestly, my favorite way to eat any berries, is straight up in a bowl. Blackberries are also a great drink ingredient, so I made more than a few purple cocktails.

Here are 15 ways we ate and drank blackberries this summer, as pictured above, left to right:

 1. Straight up with a little sugar
 2. Blackberry Gin Fizz
 3. Blackberry and Pecan Grilled Pizza
 4. Blackberry Piña Colada
 5. Big Ass Salad with Blackberries and Fig Balsamic Vinaigrette
 6. Blackberry Whiskey Sour
 7. Blackberry Cheesecake Galette
 8. Blackberry Mezcal Smash
 9. Blackberry Cream Pie with Toasted Oat and Sesame Crumb Crust
10. Bourbon Blackberry Collins
11. Vegan Pancakes with Blackberry Syrup
12. Blackberry Shrubs: Blackberry-Rum Shrub and Blackberry Bourbon & Maple Syrup Shrub
13. Blackberry Cornmeal Muffins
14. Blackberry Pineapple Smash
15. Blackberry-Pineapple Sidecar

That Blackberry-Pineapple Sidecar is one of my favorite cocktails ever. I may have drank three last night. They're good medicine when you've had a tough few months, but perhaps an even less healthy coping method than hiding under a rock. ;)

And with that, all the blackberries are gone and the Olympics are over. Until next year/2020...

cooking tips with larry & rachel

I found this blog post that I wrote last summer in my Drafts folder and thought now would be a good time to publish it. Larry and I are currently making some major changes to our diet, so it will be interesting to look back on this and see how our cooking style has evolved as we integrate healthier ingredients and techniques into our kitchen.

Recent experiments from the Smoellke Test Kitchen.

Larry and I have been cooking together for nine ten years. The first year we were dating, I'm pretty sure we survived solely on bar food, but after that we ventured into the kitchen. We started with uninspired and easy things like baked chicken breasts and pasta. But we quickly found this diet to be boring, so we stopped shying away from unique ingredients and started cooking more challenging recipes and exploring new flavors. And what a delicious adventure it has been!

Nowadays, we try between 100 and 150 new recipes a year. Our pantry contains 11 types of vinegar, 13 flavors of oil, and ingredients such as pomegranate molasses, gochujang, and sumac. Our spice collection is up to over 60 different spices. I have thousands of recipes cataloged in three-ring binders. We spend our free time flipping through cookbooks, Food & Wine magazine, and watching Top Chef for inspiration. This is not to say we are food snobs (I love a greasy piece of pizza or a taco from a food truck!), or that we are experts (we definitely have recipes that flop), just that we have learned a few things along the way:

ENGLISH MUFFINS MAKE THE BEST HAMBURGER BUNS.
So, I'm really not a fan of the tasteless, mushy, wet-kleenex style hamburger buns from the grocery store. But what irks me more than their lack of taste, is that they always end up molding or getting stale before we can use them all. Years back, we switched to using toasted English muffins as hamburger buns and have never gone back. They're thinner so there's a better meat-to-bread ratio, they don't turn to mush when slathered with ketchup, and bonus, you can eat any leftover muffins for breakfast!

THE BEST PIZZA IS COOKED ON THE GRILL. (AND FRESH MOZZARELLA IS A MUST!)
I still struggle with making a decent pizza in the oven - the crust never cooks evenly and there are usually tears and/or curse words involved when trying to transfer the pizza to/from the pizza stone. But who cares about oven pizza when there is grilled pizza? Roll/pat out the dough into a pizza shape and toss it directly onto the grill (that's right, you don't need oil or cooking spray to keep it from sticking and you don't need a pizza stone, baking pan or anything - put the dough directly on the grill). Don't fret that the dough stretches out when you're putting it on the grill - grilled pizza will never have a perfectly round shape. (One of mine came out in the shape of Florida - not the prettiest, but still delish.) Once the dough cooks enough on the bottom side so that it is no longer sticky/is flippable/has grill marks, flip the crust and add sauce, FRESH mozzarella and toppings. (This pizza is best kept simple, so don't overdo it with a load of toppings.) Close the grill and wait just long enough for the bottom side of the crust to cook and the cheese to melt. Take it off the grill and enjoy. The pizza is made even more flavorful if you brush the dough with garlic oil before cooking. (See below.)

Update: I like to dust the dough with cornmeal - keeps it from sticking to your hands and adds a little texture to the crust. Also, I typically use a pre-made ball of dough from the grocery store and divide it into two portions, which each make a large personal sized pizza - this is the right size for ease of flipping on the grill.

GARLIC OIL MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER.
Pour a little olive oil in a ramekin. Stir in some crushed/minced fresh garlic. Let it sit for a bit while you're preparing diner. Now before you throw that pizza dough on the grill, brush on some of that garlic oil. Same goes for those English muffins you were going to toast on the grill for hamburger buns. So easy and takes the flavor of your pizza and burgers to the next level. (Also, the Garject garlic press is the best I've found - it's self-cleaning and has a PEEL EJECTION BUTTON!) Now does anyone have a tip for getting the smell of garlic off your fingers? My hands constantly smell like garlic no matter how many times I wash them!

GROW YOUR OWN HERBS. (Especially oregano and thyme!)
I have a little container garden of kitchen herbs on my patio. Throughout the years it has contained many different herbs. It has also been neglected at times. But the two herbs that I use the most in my cooking are the two herbs that come back year after year and don't seem to mind my neglect: oregano and thyme. These two herbs, along with the huge rosemary bush (now dead - wahhhh!) in our backyard make up the three primary herbs we cook with. They are so universal (pizza, pasta, meat/chicken, potatoes, fish!) and taste so delicious when picked from your backyard that you'll never go back to using the dried stuff. I've also grown marjoram and sage (don't use them very often), parsley (kind of boring), chives (easy to grow and delicious on eggs!), basil (bugs always eat mine, but I still manage to get a batch of pesto every summer), and cilantro (cannot grow this at all - always dies). The New York Times recipe for Oregano Marinade is our favorite marinade for all meat. P.S. Save time and dishes - don't make it in your blender, use an immersion blender instead...

AN IMMERSION BLENDER IS YOUR BEST FRIEND.
My favorite kitchen gadget by far is my immersion blender. In fact, I haven't used my regular blender in over six years. I hated cleaning/assembling that thing anyway, so it might be time to donate it. The immersion blender on the other hand - easy to use, easy to clean, and you don't have to transfer foods to a blender, dirty up another dish, or risk spilling your vat of soup everywhere since the immersion blender can just blend in the same vessel you cooked in. I use my immersion blender for smoothies, milkshakes, and frozen cocktails (it crushes ice, no problem), pureed soups, sauces, marinades, and dressings.

SHRED YOUR OWN CHEESE.
This might have to be filed under Things That Make Rachel Weird (according to Larry!), but I am personally offended by pre-shredded cheese. Here's why: Those bags of shredded cheese at the grocery store contain ANTI-CLUMPING AGENTS. Yuck. And yes, I realize that anti-clumping agents are found in a lot of processed foods, but it particularly bothers me in shredded cheese, because it make the cheese dried up and crusty and gross. Shredding a block of cheese yourself only takes a few seconds and the texture of the cheese and your dish will be much improved...and not contain chemicals.

HOW TO CUT A BELL PEPPER:
Do you cut bell peppers in half and then fuss with cutting out the core and getting rid of the seeds and then struggle with dicing the weird curved pepper halves? I did that for years, until I discovered this technique a few years ago - it leaves you with four flat rectangular sections of pepper and no stray seeds.

CHIPOTLES AND SMOKED PAPRIKA MAKE EVERYTHING TASTE BETTER.
Every year it seems that we discover an ingredient, become obsessed with it, and then start mixing it into everything. Four-ish years ago, we were putting chipotles into everything and I still love anything chipotle-flavored. The next year, we discovered Smoked Spanish Paprika (also called Pimenton de la Vera). Both of these ingredients pack a potent spicy punch. A few favorite recipes: Chipotle Ketchup, Chipotle Mac and Cheese, and Catalan Fish Stew with Pimenton Mayonnaise.

Bon appetit!

surfing goat dairy

Most people probably visit Maui for the beaches, but one of the best things Larry and I did while we were on the island was take a tour of Surfing Goat Dairy in Kula. We petted and fed the goats, learned about how they are raised and milked, and tasted the most delicious goat cheese I've ever had in my life. It was pretty much heaven.

There were surfboards scattered around the farm for the goats to climb on. Also, Surfing Goat's logo was a goat wearing a lei, and their tagline is "Da feta mo betta!" Awesome.





Oh, and I took a million pictures of goats:

Goat in a chair!

Snuggling goats!

Sleeping goat in a chair!

This guy's name was Pepe. Did you know that billy goats PEE ON THEIR OWN BEARDS to attract females?

While I am definitely not attracted to urine-soaked goat beards, I have been obsessed with goats since I was little and saw them at the county fair.

Larry's been afraid of goats since he was little and a big billy goat knocked him over at the petting zoo and stole his cone of goat feed. (Poor little Larry!) Luckily, Larry grew up to be bigger than a goat, so they couldn't knock him over anymore. (Also, they were behind a fence.)

Doesn't this goat look like it belongs on The Simpsons?

One thing we agree on is goat cheese: we both love it! We had actually tasted their cheese before our visit to the dairy - many restaurants in Maui use Surfing Goat Dairy's cheese in their dishes since it's the only goat dairy in Maui (and because it's delicious and fresh, obviously!). I highly recommend the goat cheese pizzas at Flatbread Company in Paia.

We did a tasting of the cheeses first (Our favorite flavor was the Maui Secret - it's marinated in olive oil and olives and combined with fresh herbs - amazing!) and then selected a flight of six flavors and a couple of cold lemonades to enjoy as we watched the antics of the goats on the farm. There was one old retired nanny goat who kept escaping from her pen. Once she was free she would run gleefully down the road with her udder swinging until one of the farm dogs herded her back to her enclosure.



Beautiful scenery, adorable goats, and delicious cheese is pretty much the definition of a perfect vacation day for me! Now how do I get my hands on some more of that cheese? And a baby goat for my very own?