Thursday, February 10, 2011



Recently, I've been having a terrible time sleeping. I'm no stranger to insomnia, but this is ridiculous. Night after night, I find myself staring at the clock at 4 am.

I've tried reading, drinking wine, listening to music...nothing works.

The other night, while lying in bed, eyes wide open, I picked up my iphone and saw this:

The album cover for Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust by Sigur Ros. (They're Icelandic.) Why are bare butts so hilarious? (Important Note! I had never seen any of their videos until I just searched for that link. I just watched the video for Gobbledigook - my favorite Sigur Ros song - and holy moly! Naked people frolicking in the woods!!! And they show a lot more than their bare butts... Excuse me while I go watch it again...)

Anyway, last night I finally got a few good hours of sleep. Until this happened:
gravy - annoying
rachel - no
gravy - eep
gravy - super annoying
rachel - yes
gravy - eep
gravy - most
rachel - still dark
gravy - again
gravy - eep x3
rachel - just kill me
gravy - high pitched
gravy - eep
gravy - smoke detector
gravy - eep
sd - eep
rachel - kidding
sd - eep
gravy - talking
sd and gravy - eep
rachel - fml
sd - eep
So I got up and decided to show that smoke detector who's boss. It involved a ladder. And some swearing. But I finally pried it off the ceiling. It's a hardwired detector, so I yanked the wires out, too.

That'll learn ya:
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Of course, the smoke detector kept beeping. Its back-up battery was low. That little battery door was a bitch to open. There was more swearing.

But I got it open, only to find...
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Noooooo, not the rectangle battery!

Honestly, who keeps 9-volts lying around the house? Not us.
So, I ripped the battery out. Of course it kept beeping. Mother *#&$^@%!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Guess where the smoke detector is now??? Downstairs, locked in the guest bedroom - as far away from me as possible. That's what happens when you don't shut up! (RIGHT, Gravy?  Just kidding - I didn't lock the dog anywhere. I did wish that I could remove his batteries though!)

(Also, don't be too worried about the batteryless smoke detector. We have seven smoke detectors in this house. Five of them have batteries. We should be covered. Knock-on-wood.)

And now I am going to attempt to get some shut-eye. (Just as soon as I giggle at the Icelandic wiener video one more time...)


Anonymous said...

Immediately forwarded to colleague who's having similar squeaky dog issues...!

Funnelcloud Rachel said...

@ Chimneypots - Ha! I love the dog, but he does make the most annoying sound in the world!

Jennifer said...

LOL! My boys talk, too. THANKFULLY not at night... not sure how I'd deal with that. In the car they drive me nutso...


Funnelcloud Rachel said...

Oh, I could not deal with squeaky dogs in the car! Luckily, a ride in the car/going somewhere is Gravy's favorite thing in the entire world, so he doesn't whine then. Unfortunately, he is a morning person and he thinks there's nothing wrong with asking to eat breakfast at 4:00/5:00/6:00 in the morning!

calytrix said...

ha! love this

THE Princess Bombshell* said...

Phoebe from Friends:

Funnelcloud Rachel said...

OMG, Princess - yes, that's exactly how it went!