Tuesday, June 14, 2011

guilty pleasures

duck donuts
I keep staring at this photo I took of the donuts from Duck Donuts while we were in the Outer Banks last month. It got me thinking about guilty pleasures...

Most of my guilty pleasures fall into two categories: Food That Is Bad For Me and Things That Waste My Time. I guess a third category would be Things I Do That Are Mildly Embarrassing To Admit.

DONUTS. This is my #1 guilty pleasure of all time. I admit it, I freaking love donuts. Especially the original glazed Krispy Kremes and the Boston Cream Donuts at Dunkin Donuts. I feel like admitting that you love donuts is akin to confessing you shoot heroin. Don't you hate it when your snobby and athletic co-workers roll their eyes and proclaim "I don't eat donuts." ? Whatever. They're delicious and yes, I was the person who ate the last donut in the box that was sitting on the lunch table all morning.

CHEESECAKE. Dieters among your dinner party may scoff at this sinfully delicious dessert, but I dig in and then have seconds. I think I might choose cheesecake as my last meal (with a side of donuts, of course).

BUTTER. Give me real butter and not that crap in a plastic tub. Go all the way or go home. If you go to the trouble to bake bread, it deserves to be paired with real, delicious, full-fat, melty butter. Larry puts Country Crock on it. Blasphemy.

CREAM. Fact: If a recipe has heavy cream in it, it is going to be delicious.

CHICK-FIL-A. I really don't like fast food. No McD's, no BK, it just doesn't do it for me. The exception is Chick-Fil-A. I had never even had Chick-Fil-A before Larry and I were dating, now I'll take a Meal #1 - Chicken Sandwich with Waffle Fries and a Lemonade any time we pass by one. My guilt over patronizing this place has increased a hundred fold this year since I completely disagree with their politics. I try to boycott them as much as possible now. Damn you bigots, and your deliciously greasy food!

FRUITY DRINKS. Don't get me wrong, I love a glass of wine or a good beer, and only sometimes feel guilty about consuming them. But the fruity drink gets a bad rap. They're usually consumed by silly girls in tube tops who giggle too much and can't hold their liquor. This is not me. Regardless, I love some coconut rum, especially when paired with pineapple juice.

ALL FOOD, PARTICULARLY SWEETS.* This list is getting ridiculous with me listing all the delicious and naughty things that I love to eat. Other guilty pleasures: soft serve ice cream (not that yogurt crap), good chocolate (not American chocolate, the European kind), fried food, and sugar cookies. Suffice it to say, I just love food and I have a huge sweet tooth. Ever since I became interested in cooking, I just can't help myself. I was much skinnier back in the day when I didn't like food.

STAYING UP LATE. I've been a night owl since childhood. I know I should go to bed earlier, but I can't. Also, ever notice how the night owls always get a bad rap and the early birds get...the worm? (Go ahead and take your worms, Early Risers, they're slimy and gross!) But seriously, the early birds who get to work at 6 am (why?!) - namely my bosses of the past - always get the pat on the back. These early bird bosses were never fans of mine - despite the fact that I would work until 2 am if something needed to get done.

SLEEPING IN. This may be a consequence of staying up late, but I would sleep until noon every day if I could.

LONG HOT SHOWERS. You know, the kind of loooong showers where everyone else gets pissed off at you for using up all the hot water? Good stuff.

READING BLOGS. Such a time suck, yet I could do this all day.

THE INTERNET. Imagine how productive I the human race could be if I we didn't waste my our days surfing the internet. Nah, I'm sure I'd we'd just find something else to fritter away my our time on.

Specifically, INTERNET SHOPPING. So easy to spend my money! Can buy things while wearing pajamas! Awesome!

MUSIC. I tend to think I have good taste in music. And when I'm at home, I listen to this good music on CD or my iPhone. However, when I'm driving all bets are off, and I listen to the radio and sing along to Pink and other cheesy pop music. Larry asked me what my #1 guilty pleasure song was the other day, and I couldn't come up with one, but I think cheesy eighties music falls into that category. We recently were discussing that Hall & Oates is going to be at Wolf Trap later this month and I confessed that I'd totally be up for going. Private eyes, they're watching yooouuuuu...

READING. Reading should not be a guilty pleasure - it's an educational way to pass the time. But I always do it when I should be doing something else and consequently, I have a love/hate relationship with reading. It's really just a method of procrastinating, so I feel guilty when I get lost in a good book and I know I should be doing the dishes.

PAJAMA PANTS. I would wear these all day every day if I could.

LISTENING TO SONGS ON REPEAT. My favorite song of the moment? I can listen to it on repeat for hours. (I try not to do this when anyone else is around.) Come to think of it, this habit may be a sign of some sort of mental disorder, not just a guilty pleasure. P.S. I just listened to Private Eyes sixty-four times in a row.

And a few things that I think are other people's guilty pleasures that I'm totally not into: celebrity gossip (don't care), television (I watch a few shows, but never aimlessly channel surf), fast food (with the exception of Chick-Fil-A, see above), soda/coffee (I don't drink a drop of either - just don't like them) and vampires (I don't understand this one at all).

Anyone else care to confess? What are your guilty pleasures?

*Just so you don't think I'm going to have to be forklifted out of my house some day, I do love plenty of healthy foods, too - like vegetables! And lentils!


Sarah Rooftops said...

Ohhh... I have to do this sometime... When I'm not wasting my spare time reading blogs, that is...

Michael - Innkeeper said...

ok - so i'm kinda thinking we may be long lost siblings ... or friends ... or something. i felt like i was reading my own list of guilty pleasures! seriously.

especially listening to my new favorite song on repeat for hours! guilty! that made me lol.

and congrats on your craft fair! i tried posting a comment but it seems to be disabled? your booth looked fab and your art is just amazing. i will be ordering a piece one of these days.

ana said...

i just love this list & post. i just may have to do one myself. i also love doughnuts & am currently wearing pajama pants. oh, & got yelled at by my old roomie to stop playing a George Michael song on repeat. ;) your list is splendid.

kathleen said...

haha i enjoyed this post :) i'm more of a chocolate licorice and coffee girl but that photo of the donuts has got my stomach rumbling...

Juanita said...

Dark chocolate - it's practically a food group in our house.

Funnelcloud Rachel said...

Ahh, I knew there were kindred spirits out there! Yay for my fellow donut lovers!

@Michael - Thanks for the kind words on the art fair! And isn't the best part about confessing guilty pleasures learning that other people have the same vices?

@Kathleen and Juanita - I love dark chocolate and licorice, too! Yum!

Leonie said...

Oh my! I totally do the listening to songs on repeat thing! It drives my fiance nuts. I'm new to your blog but I absolutely love it (based pretty much on this hilarious post alone).

Funnelcloud Rachel said...

Thanks so much for stopping by, Leonie!